When asked Dakota what is your best birthday wish, the thing you most want today?
His answer: That the world stop calling me a bunny. It’s very unmanly and insulting to my intelligence. Not even the babies like it, they say it makes them feel like a household appliance that dusts off the furniture.
Clear enough. This one never has an issue with clarity.
I bought Dakota for $10.00. He was 9 weeks old living in rabbit hell at Burns Feedstore in some redneck town in Oregon. He was one pissed off Bunny…scratch that! Rabbit.
The caretaker pulled him out of the cage he shared with his brother by the scruff of the neck and rightly so, Dakota tried to kick her in the face. She squirted him with a water bottle. She said it had lavender oil in it and that calmed problem rabbits like him. She wasn’t that great of a sales woman and her teeth had deep crevasses of brown tobacco stain. But I got the two for one deal. She wanted to get rid of Dakota. He was too wiley; he was a fighter. I was smitten immediately. Which probably says a lot about me for better or worse.
Dakota and I have been on many adventures since I brought him home (including my freaking out right away and calling Burns Feed Store because I thought he was super gay obsessively humping his brother for hours. The woman with the tobacco stained teeth only said, ‘boys will be boys.’ )
He also went through a year of ‘how to treat a lady’ when it came to his current wife, Caila. He had to learn she wasn’t just there to only serve him. That he would get a lot more out of the relationship with both of us if he learned the art of not being a selfish pig (rabbit). He’s gotten a lot better. He sees me coming in the room and starts licking her head to show how sensitive and caring he can really be. And then there are those other days when he chases her off because he wants me all to himself.
Now we are about to go on another adventure. Dakota is about to become Mr. LA. I think he’ll do well in Los Angeles, he’s handsome, cocky, he takes no shit and it’s worth earning his affection. He’s quite the softy under all that fight. James Dean Rabbit.
Me: Hey birthday boy, you are 6 today!
Dakota: In my prime.
Me: When does that change? Will you ever slow down or become sloppily dependent on me, ever?
Dakota: Nope, never.
Dakota: What are you doing for me today?
Me: Everything, nothing…you know how it goes, I’m completely whipped!
…….Hops away looking smug.